Sleepy Insomniac

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
fucking-why
fucking-why

I think there is something so horrifying about movies with men knowing that the situation they are creating and what they are doing to a woman will end in her death. They knew every step of the way that what they were doing would end with the woman they love/lust/admire dead. And they did it anyway because they’re selfish and entitled and don’t value that woman’s life as her own person.

Like yeah, these movies contain all the classic horror tropes of gore and cult themes and the sense of dread and anticipation. But the true horror for me is ALWAYS the reveal that the man that wanted her there knew she was going to die. Every single time you see the realisation, the betrayal in her eyes.

quasarkisses
timcurrysbooty

Tim Curry candidly reveals an ill-fated affair during the filming of Muppet Treasure Island (1996) with Miss Piggy.

lyinar

They say that Michael Caine did so well in Muppet Christmas Carol because he treated the Muppets like fellow actors, and Tim Curry did so well in Muppet Treasure Island because he treated himself like a fellow Muppet.

I’d say this counts as strong evidence toward that theory.

feministfandomforever
huffylemon

image
ralfmaximus

Years ago I overheard (eavesdropped upon) a telephone conversation between a public parks official and a golf course owner.

Parks Official: No sir, you cannot

Parks Official: No. They are a protected species

Parks Official: You CANNOT shoot them

Parks Official: Or poison them, no. Or trap them

Parks Official: If you like, we can-- no, I'm it. I'm the ranking official here. There's nobody above me. My boss? You mean... the governor's office? Sure, I guess. Okay bye

After he hung up, he gave me this thousand-yard stare before answering my unvoiced question.

"There's a flock of flamingos at the 9th green disrupting golfers. He wanted permission to go out there with a shotgun and take care of matters, but sensed there might be... legal ramifications. So he called us."

I laughed. "Does that happen often?"

"Oh, we get calls like that a couple times a month."

fem-fatalist

Country clubs should be burned to the ground and their golf courses turned into community gardens i am 10000% serious

theconcealedweapon

Was golf created for the sole purpose of hoarding ridiculously large amounts of land just to brag about how little they use it?

neil-gaiman
ebookporn

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony


- Jill Thomas Doyle

neil-gaiman

A zeugma walked into a bar, my life and trouble.